This shall end,just like everything else.
The pieces will crumble,
the pain will fly,
all tears will die,
or so I like to pretend,
that like everything, this too will end.
The butterflies will fly again,
never will flowers feel estranged,
that I will lose track of all my pains,
that one day the traces of tears will vanish,
this thick cloud of doubt would diminish,
I like to believe, I want to pretend,
that like everything, this too will end.
Swimming in deep, murky pools of regret,
my heart, so broken, so tattered, so hurt,
walking amongst the darkest shadows,
the rain gently pelting on my windows,
the settling of dust on my inner core,
the anguish that keeps on getting more,
I want to imagine, I want to pretend,
that like everything, this too will end.
They look at me as I lie there in flowerbeds,
so many pairs of eyes, so many turning heads,
A wagging finger, a clicking tongue,
considered forbidden are the tunes I sung,
a funeral deadlier than the person who lay,
alive in flesh and soul, made of clay,
I want to tell myself, I want to pretend,
that like everything, this life too will end.
2 comments:
First of all, allow me to commend your sense of style. I love the layout and design of your blog!!
Now on to more important matters:
I absolutely love your repetitive lines. I'm glad you made it sound like that, like pained wishful thinking that you and the reader both know will not come true, but you can't help being so..human about it. (I hope I got that right).
I just didn't see where "that" fit in the second and third lines of the second stanza; "that" usually signals a continuation from something and the lines before them were pretty independent. In any case, I have a small question/suggestion: did you really mean "cloud of doubt will diminish", (regarding meaning and rhyme) or did you mean "dissipate"?? Because I usually associate clouds and things like this with dissipation. So yea.
I liked how you ended the poem; pretty strong, though a bit vague. What exactly was the "forbidden" that you "sung"?
Nevertheless, I still loved the addition of "life" in the very end, as if to say, "yea, that's what I meant all along."
Haha, hope that wasn't as random as it sounded. Overall, great poem.
Keep going.
In context, I tried to imply that the "clouds of doubt" were never there, they just appeared out of the blue, like how you have an eruption of a rash on your skin. Their presence was just so sudden and unexpected. So likewise, I used "diminish", as in I don't have the patience and strength to watch the doubt 'slowly dissolve' out, since I'm sure it would suck the life of me 'oh so slowly' along with itself. So I just want to rip it off like a band aid. I hope I made sense :P Umm, as for the forbidden tunes, I meant whatever I did was scrutinized and analyzed to such an extent that even my simplest acts were taken as ulterior motives and distorted beyond perception just to find a reason to ostracize me. :)
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