Vivid Blurs.

I tell myself to pick up my pieces,
to ignore my palms with wretched creases,
to close my eyes to the dark shadows,
to dream and wait for future breezes.

When the rays of the sun strike my face,
I feel sorrow has held me in tight embrace.
The fiery lights pierce deep through me,
it's a pain within me, nobody can see.

The dry leaves scratch against the ground,
leaving me to drown in the sound,
of crackling laughter and so many cries,
to witness every joy as it slowly dies.

With defiance I try to pick myself up,
to capture the solitude in a china cup,
to hit it hard against a solid wall,
to watch the tiny shards as they sprawl.

The barren branches of autumn trees,
push me deeper into blood-filled seas,
for help I try so hard to reach out,
but the waves of time lull every shout.

There comes a time when numbness comes,
I'm left to pick up my broken crumbs,
from the left, from the right, up and down,
in the endless pit, I've left to drown.

I resurface and then drown deep,
in quarries of pain, I'm left to creep.
Every nightmare now a mundane tale,
every scar hidden under a shiny veil.

My eyes getting dimmer with sorrow,
waiting for a brighter tomorrow,
to rise up with grace and with glory,
to become a legend, not just a story.

I remind myself that life's too short,
through glass and rocks i need to sort.
I need to save myself from major blows,
there will be thorns for every rose.

I flow along the currents of time,
not a single piece of shore to climb,
I let it carry me to lands unknown,
my heart's all numb, my body of stone.

For every little shove that I feel,
I realize these wounds may never heal,
each bruise is a little epiphany,
of the past and what I once used to be.

Each breath becomes too painful to maintain,
everything seems a loss, where are the gains?
I glance at the sky, searching for a sign,
every wound seems to be coated with brine.

Lips now too parched to say or speak,
for chances of rescue look too bleak.
I can feel my heart dipping in cold,
all turns to rust, that was once gold.

Then little by little darkness creeps,
specks of bright light it gently sweeps,
taking along so much from what's left of me,
it carries me along too, to my chosen destiny.

Escapades.

I want to bang my head against familiar walls,
for this darkness has bore into the crevices of my mind,
sucked me dry and worthless,
left me alone and so far behind.

I want to walk down familiar lanes,
for my feet have betrayed me in all directions,
abandoned me to lament over losses,
bundled in chaos and misconceptions.

I want to cut myself with familiar blades,
for my blood has frozen in this cold,
taken the life out of me,
tossed me about barren and old.

I want to cry over familiar pains,
for my sadness and gloom laugh at me,
strip my peace, cut me open every time,
drown me in a tear-filled sea.

I want to run to familiar faces,
for every face mocks and jeers,
burns me deep inside,
aggrevates my deepest fears.

I want to hear familiar sounds,
for every sound hurts like noise,
all my dreams have been shattered,
one by one like the cheapest toys.

I want to lean against familiar walls,
for every wall is just another illusion,
every push and shove is part of destiny,
there's an endless isolation.

And I Never Felt the Same.

i looked at the paths,
the dusty roads,
the broken garden gate,
the rusty ways,
the old routes,
and other remnants of our fate.
trust me, i never felt the same.

the trees all standing,
tall and still,
the winds rustling,
over the hills,
a reminder of all that once was,
stories that i kept close to heart,
and never, i never felt the same.

each night i lit a candle,
hoping you'd come,
each night i blew it off,
realizing what we had become.
the distance increased, more than i could tame,
and again, i never felt the same.

the sun shines the same way,
so does it set.
the rains still beat the roof,
making my heart wet,
the moon still talks about you,
but i don't because i never felt the same.

as my breath rises and falls,
my heart skips a beat,
my insides churn at all sounds,
a fire burns inside,
hoping we'd meet.
alas, my faith turns out blind,
since i know, i never felt the same.

the shores etched with prints,
tell another tale,
the tides still beat the sands,
and whisper to the gale,
the sand sifts through my bare hands,
truly, i never felt the same.

the stars, the clouds,
the skies,witness my incessant cries,
the tears in my eyes have now dried,
scars have covered my soul,
i didn't need comfort,
no need of anyone to console,
because anyway, i never felt the same.

i still search in hidden darkness,
for you again and again,
i call out your name,
without any gains.
my heart now accustomed to this new pain,
i realize, i never felt the same.