Blah.

Today was an 'okay' day, did nothing special, except maybe eat chana chat with crisps sprinkled all over it. There's so much to do, so much to study, I have a block assessment coming up soon, I'm a little nervous, but I don't know why I just can't get myself to study. I literally have to drag myself to my books. =/ And I seriously don't know what's so wrong with me these. I know there is "something", but I just can't put a finger on it. I'm writing too many poems, I feel like a factory more than anything else. Thanks to someone, I hate the word "poetess" with a passion. It makes me feel like some old and haggard 100 year old woman walking with a stick and scribbling on clay tablets about her feelings. Ick. Changing tracks, studying embryology makes me feel like a little miracle. There are around 165784365436 things that can go wrong in the womb. Alhamdullilah, we all need to learn to be so much more grateful. I don't have much to say, but I wanted to cut the monotony of so many poems, that too all about pain and sorrow :P I'm not as emo as I sound. I'm a very happy person, alhamdullilah, I just have my ways of expressing joy. Oh by the way, I tried writing something really dumb, let me just paste it here at the end:

I dug a tiny hole,
I buried myself in it,
deeper and deeper,
until I had no doubt
that anyone would pull me out.

I caked the opening with mud,
with silt, with concrete,
then I used the stick of fate,
to tap it dry and neat.

Nobody had to know what lay,
under the layers of clay,
it could be a very dark past,
or a life that had ended too fast.

As the winds blow the dust away,
I add a few tears to wet the sandy clay,
I watch the frays of secrets peeking,
the remnants of what my heart was seeking.

I use a few pebbles to line the site,
of shattered dreams and sleepless nights,
of so many regrets and endless passions,
of lack of hope and absence of compassion.

It's still a little incomplete, but I'm very out of ideas at the moment, so I will add to it later.

Enough said.

Vottay Day.

I have an off tomorrow! Thanks to Quaid-e-Azam Day! *all smiles* But I have to go back to college on Friday, which sorta sucks, since I have my foundation module assessment that day! This is going to be our "first" assessment in medical school and that's why I'm a little apprehensive about it. sighs. I hope all my scrawny notes come into use while I'm studying for the test, insh'Allah. Umm, today was interesting! We did communication skills with two professors, Dr. Fawad Qaiser & Dr. Mati-ur-Rehman, it was quite interesting in the beginning, but then seriously it dragged on a little too much. Both of them randomly picked students from the hall and dragged them onto stage for answering questions or role playing...haha, it scared the living daylights out of many! Thank God I was totally invisible to them! I'm so glad I have an off tomorrow! I just want to hibernate. I'm enjoying the winters, but getting up in the freezing cold is just pure torture. =/ Today Saneea, Ayla and I took a long, long walk in the Shifa lawns, while we discussed our hawt favorites from class. lol. It was amazing. I totally shocked Saneea with the amount of food I ate. "Moti ho jao gi!" she exclaimed when I declared my menu for both my breaks. haha. My canteen has all kinds of food, which becomes short a little too quickly.. I consume so many bottles of soft drinks, which is NOT healthy at all. I need to cut down on them. But I seriously can't digest food without some kind of a carbonated drink, especially pepsi! But I guess, it's time to change now, Sidra. I just had yellow m&ms, the ones with peanuts in them. I always found the peanuts in them stale and raw. Sometimes I feel like suing the company for it. But I eat them anyways, regardless. I guess, I've turned into this big, fat, grouchy potato that just complains and wants to do nothing about anything. Oh by the way, I was chewing on wrigley's chewing gum in class today. Something that I didn't do in the longest time. I think I chewed a little too much, 'cause even before I knew the gum had totally dissolved in my mouth and was now sticking to my lips! I was trying to get it off, so that I wouldn't look like a cow, but I was totally helpless 'cause I didn't have any mirror to see whether it was off or not. lol. I'm NEVER chewing gum in class again. I've learnt my lesson today! Lessons, that's what we got today. How to become a better listener, a better speaker, a better communicator etc. As Dr. Mati-ur-Rehman lectured us about good communication skills, I could see each and every flaw in my personal communication skills stick their tongue out at me. I talked too much, out of which only 3 % of the things made sense, I didn't give others the chance to talk, I just wanted people to hear me out and agree with me. Basically, I was being an unhealthy competitor. I almost got into an argument AGAIN with one of my friends, or should I say an msn contact that I become too concerned about at times. I don't know. *rolleyes* I guess, I fail at showing people how concerned I am and end up sounding too harsh and uptight. But then I don't need to go around publicising my intents either, so it's okay. Anyways, I will add more to this later, with spicier updates, insh'Allah.

100 Watters and much much more!

This world is SO small. That's what hits me between the eyes whenever I end up seeing so many mutual friends with different people on Facebook :P... I'm enjoying the signature-style Islamabadish winters. I like, I really like. Things are cool so far, alhamdullilah. We are doing airy fairy concepts in our foundation module, which I won't call "useless", but just a lil too overboard maybe. The only reason I go to college daily is to meet my friends. lol. I'm glad that I made a lot of good friends in such little time. It seems like we've all known each other since a pretty long time! At least that's what we wanna tell others :P haha. I guess it's because all of us are starting a new phase in our lives and we're all so very new to the whole "college experience"..it's nice actually, I didn't have to sit down in a corner and brainstorm about way to barge into cliques to make some space for myself :P Things just naturally fell into place instead of falling apart. So all's great, alhamdullilah. And I really hope it stays this way, insh'Allah.

Changing tracks, I installed a hardware device in my laptop for the first time in my 18 year old life. I can so imagine Haseeb laughing his guts out at this! But it's not all that hard as it seems :P I did have a hard time putting in the ink catridges. I was paranoid that I'd damage them in some way while trying to force them into the socket. I did a lot of important kaam yesterdayyy! I read through EBM, Evidence Based Medicine, I folded all my extra clothes, installed my printer AND talked to Naseeha on the phone! So I'm very happy with all my accomplishments! :P I got a lot done! The weather gets so nice around the afternoon. I really like it! It puts a 100-watter on my face :P the mornings and nights are TOO cold, you don't want to step out of the covers. I'm in my favorite pink sweatshirt with its hoodie and socks when I go to bed, it's THAT cold. I miss the way winters were back home. lol. Even the slightest drop in temperature was considered "COLD" and would force everyone to visit Rashid or Mall of Dhahran to update their winter wardrobe! And of course, who can forget to mention the countless photo sessions we conducted in the winters! And the garam garam spring rolls with pools of ketchup and chilli sauce from the canteen! And the nasty mile we had to run in the cold, which we tried to cheat at :P haha. I'm in the mood of writing a GOOD poem. I have a few ideas, but I'm just trying to put things together for a while. Sighs. When I mention to anyone over here that I've never seen snow in my life, they all give me THE look. I tell them that the only snow I saw was in "Snow World"...lol...a synthetic ice/snow arena in an amusement park back in Saudi...haha. I basically prove that I'm such a sad, sad person. =P I got off early today! Like around 12. It was just so cool. I came hope and took a much-needed power nap and enjoyed lazing around with no assignments to worry about. But honestly speaking, my minds craves some amount of stimulation, academically speaking. =/ Ah, enough bakwaas. I will add more later.